Later on in the month we will be reviewing Chubbies Shorts, in the mean time check out their latest venture, The Cargo Embargo
The Cargo Embargo has been put into motion to shed light on a very serious issue that has inexplicably been running rampant in our nation’s male population for the past decade. This affliction has been responsible for millions of embarrasing photos and countless failed pickup attempts, let alone serious and permanent damage to self-confidence throughout the nation. This affliction, you guessed it, is Cargo Shorts. And it’s high time we put an end to their reign atop the shorts kingdom.
Day after day, we see wearers of Cargo Shorts self-consciously hiding their God-given gams when all their legs want to do is experience a little freedom and sunshine.
Why all those pockets? Do you really need to carry that many things on a daily basis? Or is it that the bulk of those pockets serves to further constrict your thighs and extend the confidence-shrinking effect of those ever so lengthy shorts?We at the Cargo Embargo say “NAY!” to Cargo shorts. We embrace thigh liberation for all men.
You don’t need to be an Olympic sprinter to revel in the liberation of a short without massive side pockets and without excess fabric that has two purposes:
1) disable any/all athletic activities and
2) destroy that thing that truly makes a man – self assuredness.
Join us in this battle – and yes it will be a battle – to give back to men everywhere the confidence and liberation they so crave. Take this as the battle cry, the beacon of light in a storm of fabric and pockets. Was our great nation founded on “hiding” and “insecurity”? NAY! Our great nation was founded out of confidence and a disregard for the “norms” of society in favor of Freedom and Liberty for all!
We will not rest until we’ve settled this vendetta – we take personal offense to shorts manufacturers assuming that we don’t want thigh liberation, that we don’t need flexibility and sunlight, that men really *should* hide their quads – you will play off our insecurities no longer! We demand a more functional and GOOD LOOKING short! AND WE WILL NOT BE SATED UNTIL WE GET IT!
Welcome to the revolution, folks – we’re glad to have you.